Zzzzzzzz....

Today I am focused on sleep - the ever elusive state of existence that is my husband's sole reason for living. For the great majority of us, sleep is the time between day and night when we recharge our anatomic batteries so that we might tackle yet another approaching day of life. For my husband, it is his mistress. Many woman live in fear that their spouses will find another woman to share the intimacies that should be reserved for marriage. I, on the other hand, live in fear that my husband's already chosen mistress will claim him permanently and that one of his many daily naps will result in a permanent relationship with "her".

Now, to be fair, Paul is currently working a night shift, usually 3PM - 11PM. While we are eating dinner, he is working; while we are watching our favorite new fall shows, he is working; while we are sleeping after having watched the 11:00 news and Jay Leno, he is....sleeping!! That's right, while his family sleeps, so does he. Why then, I ask, does he wake up in the morning already planning for his first nap of the day? Why does he quietly slip away during the day only to be found napping again? His health is fine and his mental state is solid. Therefore, I can only assume that he has fallen in love with sleep. Sleep has replaced me in his life. Sleep has become his reason for living! Sleep is ruining our marriage!! As I sit here writing at 8:30AM he is already on the sofa, fully enveloped in her loving embraces.

Why has this happened to me?? I've been a good girl; I've tried to get 8 hours of sleep per night for my entire life. I have always respected the human body's need for sleep. Why, oh why, has she chosen to steal my husband's affections? And how long will she continue to wreak havoc on my life? Sleep, and her persistent power over my once faithful husband, has turned me in to a shrew; a sort of Irish fishwife who can no longer talk without screaming. I have become a nag, a hag, a horrible woman. I need help desperately! I've tried coffee, honey-do lists, even lunch dates. But nothing, absolutely nothing, seems to distract him. He has succumbed to her alluring wiles. Life, as I've known it, is over.

I wonder if sleep has a brother for me!

Peace Out!!