As I noted yesterday, it was a huge day in our household. Nina celebrated her 16th birthday, which in and of itself is huge, but to top it off I took her to apply for her Pennsylvania Learner's Permit. Needless to say, she was a total nervous wreck. Were I the Mother of the Year, I would have comforted her and told her to relax, all the while assuring her that she'd do well. Since I am so NOT the Mother of the Year, I could barely drive from suffering bouts of uncontrollable laughing. You would understand if you could have seen and heard her!! While continually repeating how nervous she was she, less than gently, rocked back and forth in the passenger seat How many times can you slam your body into the back of the car seat before you suffer spinal chord injuries? There were sounds of animalistic growls, lots of back and forth texting to who knows whom, and vocalized concerns about the total humiliation she'd suffer if she failed. Whenever I could catch enough breath I'd try to utter short phrases intended to comfort but being the teenager that she is, everything I said was taken as confirmation that she'd most certainly fail, calling forth the end of her existence here on earth!
As we approached the door of the PennDot office she hesitated, sucking in what I supposed was her last earthly breath, and we proceeded forth. After receiving the small paper with our number, Nina compared that number with the number shown on the wall that designated the current customer being assisted. That caused a new round of very strange sounds as she realized that in only 6 short numbers, it would be her turn. Everytime the number changed and marched forth toward her trip to the Penn Dot guillotine, the gasps got louder. Hyperventilation was not out of the question.
Finally, our number was called, and we took out place in front of the appropriate, but very bored, civil servant. Let me say that I had previously warned her about the collective demeanor of this particular brand of human, but I don't think anything could have prepared her for what she experienced. Forget eye contact, forget audible instructions, forget anything that even remotely resembled the human experience. This guy was there for one reason, and one reason only - to collect his portion of my PA State Tax burden. And collect it he did, because despite his lack of participation in this event, I never shut up. I told him that it was Nina's birthday, that we were very excited, what I was hoping would be the name of my first grandchild, and where I had instructed my family to despose of my remains! Finally, he pointed Nina in the direction of a computer screen where the test would be administered.
Slowly she walked, step by step, to certain doom. At this point I truly did feel for her. I remembered when I was in the same position despite the fact that I knew I'd pass because I had already seen my father bribe the examiner with whatever cash was in his pocket. She sat in front of the large monitor and began to take the test that would determine her future. Would she progress to the deep end or be forced back into the ever warm baby pool?
And, guess what? Within 5 minutes she was finished and passed with only having answered 1 question incorrectly. She was thrilled and I have to admit, I felt as though the weight of the world had been lifted from my shoulders. I didn't realize, until that moment, how heavily invested I had been in her success; how much it mattered to me. Imagine that!!
So Nina is now a student driver and I am an extremely nervous mother; another of life's amazing passages. But all of this chaos kept me from focusing on yesterday's political events so I have really nothing to say on that subject today. Except for one question - Does anyone know how Sarah Palin gets her hair into that adorable updo that she likes to sport? I want one, too!
Peace out!
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