Enough of the white stuff!

Only a winter this atrocious could make me reactivate this blog. I am in desperate need of a good rant and this is the perfect place to do it because I know that I have lots and lots of company out there in the blogosphere! So let me start this way - I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! As I look out of my window at the frozen tundra that was once south central Pennsylvania I can't help but think that maybe my husband was successful in his threats to transport us to live in Alaska. Are you kidding me? The landscape is totally void of the color green - lots and lots of white and brown, but not one iota of green! I'm Irish - I like green! It makes me happy; it makes me want to dance. This? This horrible landscape makes me want to sleep until there is green again. Which is exactly why I have repeatedly explained to my husband that I cannot move to the frozen hinterlands. In another life, I was, quite obviously a bear. I haven't dressed myself in anything but pajamas for the last 6 weeks and my bed has become the womb from which all life began. I have become a dismal zombie, moving from bed to couch and back again, dressed in a plethora of pajamas that are definitely not intended to seduce anyone or anything. I need sun and warmth and GREEN!!! I stay inside for many reasons, not the least of which is my overwhelming fear of falling on the cold, frozen surface. I hate to fall in any weather but there is something even more frightening about slipping on ice. And, it's not so much the falling as it is the getting back up again! The ice that caused you to fall remains underfoot making any chance of righting oneself nearly impossible. God forbid, you have fallen away from anything to grasp for stability. It's a disaster waiting to happen and believe me when I tell you, there isn't a crane invented that can lift my fat Irish ass off of an icy surface. So I stay inside. I sleep. I watch wretchedly horrible reality TV shows. I sleep some more. I will say it again - I CAN'T TAKE IT ANYMORE!! So this is when you say, "Why don't you move south for the winter?" And I respond, "I would if I could, but that would require that I put on real clothes, leave my den of hibernation, slip on the ice in front of my den, and then freeze to death in several feet of new snow while I wait for a non-existent crane to lift me up again. Ah, yeah. I don't think so!! So inside I shall stay, waiting for the first sight of anything green! Oh excuse me, I have to end this now...the dryer just buzzed to tell me that my load of clean pajamas is finished! Peace Out!